Yeah, it's only been two days since I posted about peace, but I clearly need more help in this area. I am so glad our God has oodles of patience, and then some!
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
Romans 7:22-25 (MSG)
Hi. It's me again. I am praying that you will set things right in me, again. I'm asking for help embracing your peace... again. I know I had some of your peace around here somewhere. But I've misplaced it. Maybe it is with my favorite pen and my son's Indiana basketball shorts (no, this Badger fan did not throw them out!) and all kinds of things that get sucked into the mysterious black hole in our house. Regardless, I need your help.
I slept poorly last night (though I'm grateful that is a rarity over the past couple weeks). I didn't get a walk in this morning (but I thank my Mr. for taking the pooch out so I could snooze a little longer). A certain dog-walking-hubby commented on my focus on Sudoku instead of the rest of the paper, setting of some latent guilt for not being more current on current events (and yet, having a lively mind that can work through a puzzle — in pen no less — is a good thing).
And that's all it took for me to slide down into Irritable Mom (and wife) Syndrome. Hounding happy kids to stay focused on breakfast. Growling instead of laughing at Mr.'s jokes. Barking at the dog glued to my side all morning.
Where was Wednesday's peace? Where was yesterday's joy? Aaaarrgghhhhhh. Why can't I get it right for two days in a row?
Lord, forgive me. Wash away the sin of my crabbies. Clear my conscience of the guilt and frustration over setbacks. All of this is so minor, but I don't want the minor to snowball into major ickytude, and I know that's where this will head if I don't pray about it now.
The other day I prayed for peace in my home, in our world. Feeling relatively peaceful, I prayed to share peace with others. Today is different. Today I need that peace. And I know where I can find it, God. In you and you alone. Help me to be still. Help me to tune into you. Help me to dump my junk and take up your grace. Write peace in permanent marker all over my heart, my words, and my actions. Please. So that I may be pleasing to you, and to those in my midst.
I'm hearing your call to pick up the Bible. And slow down. And breathe in the reassuring peace of your Living Word. Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to live in close with you.
I pray that peace is huge in your heart today. And if it is not, I pray you find some time with God to get it back.