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My mind is blank. The clock ticks. Can it be true that I have no fears? Sure, there is the occasional worry. Will the kids come home from school with emotions and bones intact? Will menopause and my daughter's teenage years clash like a perfect storm? Will the money stretch to cover our dreams? Will my son grow out of the whining stage? Will I get off my butt and get to the gym today??
But fears? Are there truly none?
Lord, what is it that I am afraid of? What fears are holding me back?
I'm in this place of limbo. Stay-at-home mom with kids in school. Substitute teacher on a part time basis. Writing, but just scratching out the borders of an undefined project. What is my purpose? My calling?
I'm afraid to completely expose myself to God's will. I'm afraid to ask the question of "What next?" — or scarier yet, "What now?"
But I just read a great piece by Kimberly at A Planting of the Lord about trusting God the way dogs trust us — assuming a submissive position, and rolling onto one's back to expose the fluffy, soft underbelly... for the promise of a good rub.
|The Beginnings of Submission | A Planting of the Lord|
I just love it when pooches do that. All furry smiles and licks and love and trust and giddy wiggles.
As my Mr. says, dogs only do what works.
Why am I afraid that making myself vulnerable to God won't work?
Lord, fill me with the faith to flop down, belly up, and open myself up to your call. Help me to trust you, to follow you, loving you with all my heart and soul and strength along the way.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.Psalm 143:8
What's next for you? Where do you need a little more trust in God and a little less fear?